GENDER BASED VIOLANCE

2010 is a year that I will live to remember for as long as I live , when ever I think of what happened my whole body grows goose pimples. I was living in my country known as the democratic republic of congo , I had an average life , I was married and I was blessed with a lovely daughter and a son , I was living with my sister , husband , and my brother in-law . My husband was a truck driver who used to transport food items from the surrounding villages , he parked at a market known as kibabi and I was a business woman who used to sell food items in whole sale at a market called bilele near my home , life was fun full of hopes and dreams . On the 27th day of July 2010 at about 8 pm at our home in belele , Congolese government security agencies stormed our residence . The soldiers asked for him , he replied by identifying himself but was greeted with kicks and slaps and later bundled in a pickup vehicle . It was impossible to ascertain their number because the flash light of the vehicle infront of our house was very strong but atleast I vividly remember that 6 soldiers entered the house . On 30th day of July 2010 at around 7:pm , I heard somebody knocking , when I peeped from the window it was my husband . His shirt was stained with blood , smelling and one of his nails were pulled off . He looked properly tortured . He explained in tears how he was beaten , humiliated under the pretext that he was collaborating with the rebels by supplying them with food . Prior to his coming back , I had made attempts to report his abduction to police , but I did not get the desired attention from the police . His friends did not want to be identified with me anymore, I was not given any positive cooperation everybody contacted seemed to fear . I took him to a nearby clinic to be treated , after 10 days he recovered relatively .

On the 10th day of August 2010 at about 7pm , the same soldiers visited again , this time my husband jumped in a drum we used to reserve water it was empty because it had a hole , a ploy to hide . I covered the drum with papyrus mat and saucepan . The knocking grew thunderous and I opened the door while shaking of fear , my children were crying . The soldier pushed me to my room , while shouting my husband's name , sagging his trouser down trying to spread my legs , I tried resisting but the more I resisted the more I was beaten . At this point my hiding husband could not stand hearing how I was tortured. He came out of hiding , he was beaten , tied as I was being gang raped infront of my 8 month son , my brother in-law , sister and my daughter whisked out of the house . A jerrican of Petro was brought from the car poured in the house , I managed to relocate myself and left the house with my son as they set the house a blazed . I was bleeding, my husband was shouting while crying , I remember his words asking me to safe myself and the kids from the wicked . I collected my broken self to one friend of my husband , with his help he knocked a nurse who gave me first treatment , I was bleeding and my right hand had a deep cut which I could not tell how it happened . My husband's friend called Dunia could not keep me because he feared for his life . He put me and my son on a truck that was transporting mattresses and that's how I came to Kampala . The truck driver knew Swahili I narrated to him what I went through , he offered to take me to a mosque in mengo Kampala . I was later referred to mulago hospital( the biggest refferal hospital ) from a clinic in mengo , I was admitted for a ful week . The great impact I am still facing is that , I am not sure whether my husband is alive or dead ( though the chances of death are high ) . I also do not know where my daughter and other family members are though someone told someone that my daughter died of cholera in a village known as ruchuru were they lived . I tried searching with the help of red cross calling different people to help out but all in vain . I was abused , separated from my lived ones , lost all that I worked for , lost my happiness and dreams all because of violence .

Yes , I am working to end violence against women . I have tasted , moved in the journey of violence in different ways . Because my life in the asylum country Kampala is also another journey of difficulties . I do not wish any other woman to taste what I went through , I feel I should help by raising voices of the oppressed women , do something to stop the violence. Support those oppressed women . My aim is to open up a social enterprises , to tackle a pressing social problem and meet it with an innovative by mobilizing the masses to bring about change . I intend to develop an equal and just society , economic and social security to the women of the society by providing livelihood opportunities , advocacy , digital skills , raising their voices were need arouse and improving their standards of living ( most especially the refugee women living in Kampala). Uganda .

My efforts, show up openly , I was not educated back in congo . The education I had was religious and a primary 3 level education . Life was next to hard in Kampala I tried all the nasty jobs to earn a living from this to that . I worked in a nursery school as a cleaner for 2 years , I was harshly treated but I kept on reminding my self that I was not only working but learning at the same time , from there I joined an adult education which I did not complete because I lucked tuition to continue , but I kept on trying despite the situation I was in . I assured myself that I will make it and support those in need . I managed to get a diploma in computer science and business studies , with the efforts I had I joined university of the people and I enrolled for a bachelor of public health administration which I did not complete but hoping to catch up.

My words of advice for survivors of gender based violence are , life goes on from whatever situation we go through . We as women can make it if we unite for the better, let's think of the young generation which involves our children , should they face the same challenges ? Is it fair ? Is it worth? Do we deserve what we go through? Should the acts be continuous? Let's unite and raise our voices , let's say no to gender based violence , we have our rights together if we use the same language we can reach our target . Let's unite for a safe and better tomorrow which involves our children .

If all women and girls were safe from harm , the world would be a better and fair place to enjoy all aspects of life . It would be full of justice , I would be living in my country with my husband and sister , my children would have an auntie . I would not face all the discrimination and challenges I have gone through , I would not bare the rage and hate that I have for my country . I would love with all my heart but because of the trauma I will always have a reserve to keep moving.