A Revolution Towards Changing Perspectives.

All through our lives, we women come across many questions. Some of them are meant to insult and criticise us, some are intended to show that we are less capable than others, especially men or boys, and some are meant to demotivate us. But if they showed us respect, appreciation, and inspiration, our confidence could be much stronger and our journey much easier.

On the 8th of May, I got my Bachelor in Education (B.Ed.) result. I secured 1st position among all the teachers of my Teachers' Training Institute with a CGPA of 3.75. My exam expectations were pretty good, but I never thought that I might achieve 1st position. I was very happy and, as always, called my father first to share my result. My father, unlike many others, has always appreciated my success and motivated me to do better next time. He also gave me 5,000 taka to buy something I like as a token of his satisfaction.

This thing always makes me feel that I am still his little daughter, even though I am also a mother of two daughters.

However, I posted about this result on my Facebook account to share my feelings with my friends. Many friends congratulated me and left comments on my post. Their comments and sweet words made me happy. But among all the comments, some touched my heart. They have deep significance in my life. That day, I realised that my hard work had paid off, and I could finally give them the answers they had asked before through my achievements.

One of my teachers from the college where I completed my Bachelor's and Master's degrees congratulated me. He is a very important person in my life because of his rebukes and hurtful words. They made me stay firm and determined in my studies.

Our teacher could provide us twenty marks in each course as in-course marks, so we had to stay in touch with the professors. I started taking tuition from this professor. Though I attended all the classes regularly, I sometimes missed the tuition classes because my daughter was too little at that time. It was hard for me to manage them and the household chores along with my studies.

One day, my professor asked, "Why did you choose English?" I couldn't understand why he asked this question so suddenly. He further said, "You should take an easier subject like Bengali, Political Science, or something like that. English is not for you. You cannot finish your studies if you continue with English."

I felt very sad and replied, "But sir, it was my dream to study English! I have also finished all the tasks you have given. I just cannot attend the tuition classes physically."

He then said, "Students like you who are married and have babies are not qualified to study English because many of them leave their studies halfway."

Though I didn't say anything, I felt very down and thought, "How can my married life and my motherhood decide what major I should take?"

From then on, I stopped going for tuition and became more determined and focused on my goal. I decided to study at home and work harder than before. Finally, I successfully finished my Bachelor's and Master's degrees in English.

It was a great joy when I saw the same professor congratulating me on my B.Ed. result.

When I got my recent job, one of my cousins asked me if I had to pay money somewhere to get the job. It is easy to predict why, because bribery is too common in getting jobs in Bangladesh.Luckily, this is changing day by day.

I replied to him, "Brother, I got this job completely on my merit, and apart from the travel cost, I didn't pay a single cent for any purpose."

He seemed unsatisfied with my answer and again asked, "How could a married woman like you, while maintaining household work and raising two daughters, get a job without spending any money? When did you get time to study? Are you making a joke with me?"

I was surprised and just told him, "Brother, you can assume whatever you want. I have nothing more to say."

That cousin later commented on my post, "Babli(my nick name), you sometimes surprise me. How can you manage all these things—your family and kids, your job, as well as your studies? Congratulations on your success."

That compliment means a lot to me because I can see the change in my cousin's thoughts.

Some friends with whom I used to compete in my high school, who sometimes made fun of me and teased me, also congratulated me. Some friends who were considered more beautiful and were liked by others for their smartness also wished me and told me that I had become their inspiration and that they were proud to have a friend like me. I was so shocked that the people who once ignored me were now congratulating me and giving me their best wishes.

When I got married, I was in 11th grade. I was too young to understand the people, terms, and responsibilities of my in-laws' family. Every child in my in-laws' family liked me a lot. Very often, they came to my room. I played with them and had some friendly chats.

After some days, I noticed that one of my uncles-in-law did not like his child having any contact with me or coming to my room. I didn't know the reason. One day, his daughter, who was then in class nine and studied at the same school as I did, came to my room. Suddenly, my uncle-in-law called his daughter and shouted loudly. She went back to their house, and I heard that her father rebuked her very badly. He literally beat her and said, "Why do you go to her room? Haven't I forbidden you to go there? She had a love marriage, and she can spoil you. Don't go there again."

I felt so insulted at that time that I cannot express it. I cannot forget the incident even for a moment. I was crying and told my husband about this incident and asked him, "Am I that bad?"

One year ago, this same uncle-in-law came to me and my husband to seek advice about his son's education, such as which university or subject he should choose and where he should go for the admission tests. His daughter had also gone through two divorces because she could not adjust to her in-laws' family. Though I am not happy about this matter, I always believe in the revenge of nature. Also his thoughts toward me and others have changed a lot compared to before.

people from my family and my village who once married off their daughters at an early age are now interested in educating the new generation. They are now supporting their daughters to be independent so that they can overcome difficult situations. Sometimes, they come to me for help. I always guide them and try my best to help them.

So, we are questioned about our ability, honesty, character, and so on. But we do not always need to give them any answer. Our determination, hard work, and finally, our success will give them the reply. If they had faith in us and supported us, our lives could be easier. Now, we must ensure that our future generation can get the best support and that their journey can be smoother.

Once, the people who criticised me, questioned me, and demotivated me are now congratulating me. This is what I call change. And we must continue our revolution towards changing perspectives.